I will not let this go

I will not let this go

With each New Year, and with every December 31 that comes along, I have my annual bafflement that somewhere in the past few years, it was collectively decided that we’re supposed to abbreviate New Year’s Eve and call it NYE.

I must have missed that meeting, but this also gives me an excuse to turn every New Year’s celebration into a Bill Nye Celebration. It’s also acceptable to use it to celebrate Space Jam too, purely because the Bill Nye Theme mashes up so well with the Quad City DJs’ Space Jam.

Then again, literally everything mashes up with Space Jam:

If that isn’t your New Year’s Eve Playlist, you can kindly get out of my face.

barkley hoopz saga

Now, this year was notably devoid of one of my blog blitzes I had done the past couple years. Maybe not notably. But it’s been a very busy December (actually a very busy year but I’ll elaborate on that in a bit) and I didn’t have a huge desire to post a bunch of tweets, tracks or memes I enjoyed over the year. I also didn’t have time to illustrate a post apocalyptic Christmas tale like before.

I haven’t drawn in a while! And the reason for that is, I don’t know if my illustrations are bad enough to count as “stylistic suck” like they used to, and they’re certainly not in the “good” category either. Also time. That’s the other reason. I’d like to start illustrating more, and maybe putting those up on my Tumblr? Practice is the only way I’m going to get into the “good” category, if that’s ever going to happen. That’s one thing I’d like to happen in 2014.

Favorite Things of 2013

I’m gonna keep this quick. This is my favorite image of 2013:

I think it sums up the year pretty well.

I think it sums up the year pretty well.

This is my favorite non-Space Jam mashup of 2013:

royal planes

This is my second favorite non-Space Jam mashup of 2013:

This is my favorite response to the most annoying trend ever:

Screen Shot 2013-12-31 at 7.17.27 PM

Looking Into 2014

2013 was hard. Not gonna lie, it was one of the hardest ones I’ve personally had. I just kept having to move so many times, pretty much entirely due to having scumbag landlords. And early this year I’m going to have to do it again! This time I really want to make it count. Signing a lease on a studio would be like the best thing ever.

But that’s not even my main goal. The main thing I want to do is at least double my income from this year, from freelancing. Party due to the amount of time I had to spend on finding a place to live, and partly due to it being the first full year of freelancing and there were bound to be some hiccups along the way, but I’m coming into 2014 older, wiser, and having more than twice as many clients as I did this time last year.

My final goal is a creative one. I want to make Life After Fat, the web series I’m directing (with a very well-received pilot episode already) into something amazing. We’ve raised the funds, we’ve gathered a talented cast and crew, and the remaining 5 episodes are written. Production’s going to pick up in February, and I’m really excited, especially for Episode 5. You’ll see why later this year.



It’s Gonna Be May

Today is April 30th. It’s a significant day for two reasons:

  1. April 30 is apparently Time For Jason to Churn Out a Silly, Ridiculous, Half-Joking, Last Minute Blog Post Day, and
  2. its gonna be may

Look, I’m not even going to try and make the outrageous claim that I came up with this particular pun(?), even if I had thought to do it last year when there was still a bit of a novelty factor. Basically, as my weird annual obsession with Bill Nye, Snoop Dogg and Randy Savage* mashed up via their respective theme songs that somehow fit together perfectly with What Is Love seems to show, I’m more or less perpetually stuck in the Internet of Yesteryear.

*Side note: I’ve recently learned that after Randy Savage’s death, Charles Barkley has risen up to take his place as the (literal) face of the Space Jam theme song, and all its respective mashups: 

I’m pretty certain this association stems from the game Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, or at least its amazing trailer:

So is the fact that today’s post opens with a reference to a meme that apparently only just surfaced last year on here a sign of progress? Then again, the meme itself references a song from 13 years ago–perhaps if I keep moving backwards with my references the Internet will catch up with me? Or I’ll catch up with the Internet? Considering the nostalgic obsessions of youth were the 80s when I was in high school, the 90s when I was in college, and the early 2000s now, perhaps in just a couple more years the Internet will catch up to my beloved circa-2005-06 Snoop Nye the Slam Guy mashup and latch onto that, bringing everything full circle. On like the fourth or fifth hand, that mashup pretty much references All the 90s Ever.

Here I saved you the trouble of Googling "all the 90s ever"

Here I saved you the trouble of Googling “all the 90s ever”

Wow, I really wasn’t planning on making today’s post into such a long, confusing reflection on nostalgia, references, The Internet, and Charles Barkley. (Another side note: “The Internet and Charles Barkley” sounds like the title of an awesome short story, play, musical, and/or film, possibly as a sequel to “The Devil and Daniel Webster,” which by extension I know about because of the Simpsons Halloween episode co-written by Conan O’Brien.)

The actual purpose of this post was again, for two reasons:

  1. To alert readers that no, I haven’t forgotten this blog and yes, I am planning on posting more regularly starting in May. There’s been quite a lot going on job-wise, apartment-wise and life-wise, and I’ve simply had to put this particular blog and its childish illustrations on the back-burner, sadly. When I have to focus on things like eating and paying the rent first, this is the most expendable thing I have going on. Not that I enjoy expending it. In the coming weeks I’ll share some more about some of the crazy things that have been going on, as well as some silly posts about GIFs or something.
  2. its gonna be may

Let’s talk about the concept of Drunk Blogging

Hey did

Hey did you know it’s the evening of February 28th?

And that February only has 28 days in 2013? Why can’t it be a Leap Year!

My problem is that, even with my admittedly spotty update schedule, I haven’t missed a month on blogging on this thing. That’s impressive, right? And so, even when I go, like, a month and a half without posting a post on here, I can’t allow myself to miss a month. I have that archive right there on the right sidebar, and if I stupidly miss one, then it’ll always be staring me in the face forever. And I can’t let that happen.

Also, look at this:


For some bizarre reason November 2012 was a really good month.

Look how much my views have fallen off since early January. Well you can’t really just by looking, but where it says “week 2” is the second week of January. It’s like a cliff and my readers just jumped off of it. Either that, or people just stopped looking up phrases like “rustled my jimmies” or “no tears only dreams now”. It was fun while it lasted, but I knew rough times were ahead when EnviroKidz changed their boxes and got rid of their paragon of calmness gorilla mascot.

There is literally every need to be upset.

There is literally every need to be upset.

Anyway, it’s not like I didn’t try to make a new post before the very last minute. I have 5 different drafts saved for future posts! They’re just kind of all… crappy. Or if not crappy, they’re taking on a really weird and complex concept like New Sincerity, and I kind of have to be in the right kind of mood to write a post like that. I’m not saying it will never happen, it’s just that I’ll probably end up deleting that draft to clean things up like I did with a never-published post ironically titled, “How To Defeat Procrastination.”

So, rather than writing a post explaining reasons I don’t have a post, I initiated Plan Woodchuck, which I came up with months ago and involves drinking a whole lot of cider and seeing what happens.

Look, I’m going to level with you. Today’s post is admittedly not up to my usual standards, and I apologize for that. So I’m going to try and come up with something nice in a few days. I’m just trying to get onto a schedule here. To make amends, have some photos I haven’t had an excuse to post before.

This is some graffiti in Greenpoint?

This is some graffiti in Greenpoint?

An Unflattering Buffy Screencap, circa Hurricane Sandy

An Unflattering Buffy Screencap, circa Hurricane Sandy

Me enjoying an out-of-season candycane. A rare selfie from someone who never takes selfies.

Me enjoying an out-of-season candycane. A rare selfie from someone who never takes selfies.




Once again, it’s time for the beginning of a new year, and once again people are driving me completely insane abbreviating New Year’s Eve as NYE. I really can’t explain why I find it so nails-on-a-chalkboard annoying. Perhaps it’s because I expect every acronym with NY in it to have something to do with New York, or perhaps I can’t see that cluster of letters without immediately thinking of Bill Nye. And my blog has certainly covered Bill Nye before, along with Snoop Dogg Lion and Macho Man Randy Savage (RIP), which I’ve sort of made into a New Year’s Triumvirate. I really, really hope that catches on.

Why isn't this already a Saturday Morning Cartoon?

Why isn’t this already a Saturday Morning Cartoon?

Let me at least make an effort to explain the insanity. Way, way back in the mid-2000s, the site YTMND (which is apparently still a thing?) had a clusterfuck of a meme called Snoop Nye the Slam Guy, combining three pre-existing memes involving the Bill Nye theme, Snoop Dogg’s “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” and the Space Jam theme, which was often accompanied by a photo of Randy Savage. Still with me here? Anyway, for some reason this relic of long Internets past stuck with me and I decided to blog about it. And then I made the dubious connection of NYE = Bill Nye, and decided to run with it.

On top of that, last year I made a list of 26 Things To Do Before I’m 26. And I did a pretty good job of crossing most stuff off of that list! So I’ll do the same thing for this year, with my list of 27 Things To Do Before I’m 27. I guess it’s just luck that my birthday falls pretty closely to Bill Nye Day.

27 Bill Nye Day Resolutions for Before I Turn 27

  1. Let’s be honest here. I want to have some more crazy nights. Like, not all the time, but I’d like to have the option of ragers on the table.
  2. Go to more shows. I got kind of lazy around the end of this year, and when a band I liked was playing, I was like, “I’d like to do, but I’d also like to sit and watch DVDs.”
  3. Take better care of myself. Obama decided that 26 is the age where you have to provide your own healthcare, so I’m going to make this the year I start making healthier habits. More fruits and vegetables! Whole grains! Lots of water! In fact I’ll make water the only liquid I keep, aside from orange juice and coffee. And at least some sort of exercise. I don’t need to become a preachy health nut, but my youthful metabolism isn’t what it used to be. And no way in hell am I giving up cheeseburgers.
  4. On that note, I need to be able to provide my own healthcare. I will accomplish that either by becoming a successful enough freelancer to afford Freelancer’s Insurance, or somehow find a part time job that miraculously provides health benefits.
  5. Start dressing better. No need to buy more t-shirts; buy nice clothes that fit well and won’t unravel after 10 wears.
  6. Take some day trips, on the LIRR, or the Metro North Railroad, or even to New Jersey.
  7. Learn to log my hours. Include everything in invoices.
  8. Keep a really good track of expenses and income.
  9. Start #8 by getting ready for 2012 taxes. I don’t want to have to pay a ton like I did last year, so I gotta go through all the receipts and deduct ALL THE THINGS.
  10. Have more varied tastes when it comes to music.
  11. Make a new reel for 2013, and make a big portfolio update.
  12. Invest in some lights. They’re not even that much! These were recommended by Vimeo.
  13. Shoot more Super-8. ‘fetti 2: fête harder is begging to be made.
  14. Shoot more music videos. This may overlap with #11 (I certainly hope it does)
  15. Have a music video featured on a major music blog like Stereogum.
  16. Get something into a film festival.
  17. Hell, start writing a feature. There, I said it. If Lena Dunham can shoot a critical darling on a 7D, why not me?
  18. Learn Not To Fear The Internet or: Learn To Stop Worrying and Love The Internet
  19. That reminds me. Watch more movies, dammit. This shouldn’t even have to be a resolution.
  20. Ride the H Train while it’s still a thing. Instagram that shizz.
  21. Post regularly on The Once and Future Coffee Addict. Aim for once a week, but make sure it’s consistent (this may be the most challenging one).
  22. Have your writing and/or illustrations featured somewhere like Buzzfeed, Thought Catalog, or some other trendy site.
  23. In any situation, ask yourself: What Would Tavi Do?
  24. Depending on the situation, feel free to substitute Tavi for any of the following: Conan O’Brien, Lena Dunham, Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino, Allie Brosh, Ryan O’Connel, Emma Koenig, Ira Glass, Florence Welch, Dee Dee (from Dum Dum Girls), James Murphy, Mr. Rogers, Bill Murray, Jake the Dog, Finn the Human, Batman, Will Patterson, Kristina Uriegas-Reyes, Zola Jesus, or pretty much anyone else you follow on Twitter.
  25. Avoid snark at all costs; approach the world with genuine curiosity and a celebratory outlook.
  26. If there’s one thing to cut back on, it’s derping around on the Internet.
  27. Don’t change a damn thing about your coffee intake.

If you’re having blog problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 posts ’cause I deleted one


Yeah, I’ve actually been planning on that title for a little while now. But look, here’s proof I did delete a post this one time:


It even got a view! And now you’ll never know what it was.

Anyway, I’m admittedly phoning this one in a bit partially to get it out of the way for my 100th post tomorrow, and partially because I really wanted an excuse to use that oh-so-clever title. But if you want to read a post that isn’t phoned in, I highly suggest you read this guest post I did for Twee Valley High, about Rookie Magazine and Tavi Gevinson, and what Millennials can learn from a 16 year old. It’s definitely my A-game, while today’s 99th post is more like my C-game, B-minus-game at best. And if that didn’t convince you, maybe this illustration I did for it will!

Seriously, read it now.

Seriously, read it now.

Guest Post: What Would Tavi Do? (Twee Valley High)

Now In Glorious 7D


Hello there! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Last time I updated, it was the time of shitstorms, both natural and political. Now all of a sudden, it’s the time of Yuletide Youtube (or Yuletube) and ridiculously cheery commercials.

Not too long ago, I got a brand new Canon EOS 7D after a lengthy ordeal and quickly brought it to Canada to get acquainted with it. But beyond that, I haven’t really shown you just what it can do. That fantastic photo up above? I took that with my brand new EF 50mm f/1.4 lens, that I got as a birthday/Christmas gift for myself. Because, you know, treat yo self. Plus B&H had an insane deal on it.

But of course, the real reason I got the camera is for its amazing video capabilities, and now I have something to show for it! First take a look at this video I shot in Canada:

And then there’s this documentary short I made:

But possibly the most impressive thing about it is how it shoots in low light. I took these photos at the fantastic Dum Dum Girls record release show a couple months ago:




I’ll leave you with that. See you later this week with my 99th post special!